You may recall that Kristy Althaus was booted from the hallowed halls of pederasty pageant land when somebody leaked her paid appearance in a cinematic venture of a barely legal nature. The Flashdance Town Council immediately stripped her of her Miss Teen Colorado runner up status and twenty bucks worth of gratis Avon products. They also scrubbed her very existence from their website like an orthodox Jewish family destroying every known photograph of their son for marrying a girl who enjoys sex. Now, in a shocking development, somebody who looks, sounds, and sucks exactly like Kristy Althaus has been discovered in a brand new adult video. It looks like Kristy did one porn video, and when The Man took away her ability to make money legitimately, she went back into porn. I wish to fuck I had a duh-duh-duh sound effect. This wasn’t really a story until somebody sent the new porn tape to Gawker and Gawker used lots of exclamation points in their headline.
I wish America would care more about the no name girls who find themselves trapped in a vicious cycle of pornography and sex for hire. And to assure such care, I wish they video documented all the better looking girls on transferable mp4 files on a poorly secured file server. The greatness of a nation and its moral progress should be judged by the way its porn stars are treated.
- sex tape